himbofisher:

hey so uh we adapted your boyfriend. we got the rights to him by promising his people it would be a tasteful interpretation but it was really just a cheap cash-in on name recognition. yeah we showed no fundamental understanding of the source material and handled him with zero nuance or taste. and it’s gonna be what most people remember of him now. are you mad

cunt-inent:

lonestatus:

bed of rice sounds like the coziest place to be

^ wet phone mentality

notajerusalemcricket:

hera-the-wizard:

funnytwittertweets:

hey that’s the dude who made the yo-yo man instructional video

Did you just know this

ugimoroz:

😔

txttletale:

italian grandmother asking you this before making you a delicious meal

mayfriend:

mayfriend:

randomslasher:

spaceshipoftheseus:

thedarkbutbeige:

ironbite4:

slartibartfastibast:

Teachers have tried this and are amazed when their classes don’t go feral like in the book.  It’s almost as if the book was supposed to be satire and not a treaty on the nature of humanity.

there’s a timeskip

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

THERE’S A TIMESKIP

after losing control of the signal fire there’s a FUCKING TIMESKIP and when the next chapter starts everyone’s hair is several inches longer and their clothes have rotted to shreds and they’re still just kind of chilling!!!!

IT TAKES THE TERRIBLE IMPERIALISM MIND-POISONED EXCESSIVELY BRITISH BOYS IN THE ACTUAL BOOK SEVERAL MONTHS TO COMMIT A SINGLE ACT OF INTENTIONAL VIOLENCE, EVEN THE ONE (1) CHILD WRITTEN AS AN ACTUAL SOCIOPATH

AND then when they DO turn on each other it is because

THERE’S AN UNSPECIFIED WORLD WAR HAPPENING

AND A PILOT’S CORPSE CRASH LANDS ON THE ISLAND POST-DOGFIGHT AND THE CHILDREN MISTAKE THE PARACHUTE FOR A MONSTER AND SPIRAL INTO PARANOIA

BECAUSE CHILDREN INHERIT THE LEGACY AND TRAUMA OF VIOLENCE FROM THE ADULTS WAGING WAR AROUND THEM

HURR DURR IN THE REAL WORLD IT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN LIKE IN LORD OF THE FLIES -

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN THAT WAY IN LORD OF THE FLIES EITHER YOU JUST HAVEN’T READ IT SINCE HIGH SCHOOL IF EVER AND DON’T REMEMBER WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THE GODDAMN BOOK

#tbf the dude wrote it to be a dick

yes. yes he did. i’m also gonna direct you to the real life ‘lord of the flies’ which occured in the 1960s, when six tongan schoolboys got stranded on a desert island for over a year before being rescued by an australian fisherman (who, it should be noted, later took on all six as crewmembers because the reason they were out in the first place was because they wanted to see the world, and named his ship the Ata after the island they were stranded on). nobody died. the only injuries that occurred were accidental, and when one of the boys broke his leg falling down a cliff, the others braced it and looked after him so well that it healed perfectly. if they argued, then they would literally go to opposite sides of the island until they’d cooled off. after leaving the island, they remained friends for the rest of their lives. here’s a photo of them as adults, with their rescuer (who is third from the left) and other members of his crew.

i read about this in rutger bregman’s human kind, a book i cannot recommend highly enough, but if you don’t want to go and read a whole book about the inherent goodness of humanity (which again, you really should) then the relevant excerpt can be found here.

robjectionable-content:

jame7t:

jame7t:

Hot tip: don’t fuck your breakfast

listening and learning + posting my apology video to patreon ($25+ tier)

[ID: A reply by felinaetrash that reads: “anti vampire language”]

doubleca5t:

sucking off a trans girl with a law degree call that getting served a subpoenis

transgendermarioodyssey:

transgendermarioodyssey:

im so glad they added the city tracks from tour to mk8d bc i hate tour but the city tracks are so funny to me. mario is real and hes tearing through bangkok on a motorcycle

theres whomps in the berlin wall

latenightgasstationwalk:

Of course it goes without saying that I am hopelessly dependent on the ingot